Saturday, January 25, 2020

Body Space

Nature is a forceful and merciless tyrant, but it yields to sapience.

Thankfully, this culture is sapient enough to recognize gender dysphoria as a condition that some people suffer from, and to offer gender re-assignment as a medical cure. The strength of my sexual biology became distressing for me when I was a young man, and I was naturally inclined since childhood to imagine myself as female. Caught in the relentless storm of hormonal intoxication, I found the way to silence it. In the process, I learned how to love men, and I learned something of what it's like to be a woman. I wouldn't have been able to understand what I do without having gone through what I did. I didn't do it deliberately, but it does seem to have done me deliberately.

I smoke cannabis every day because it introduced me to unadulterated mind space as a young man, and I learned to explore it that way. Studying art was an extension of that endeavor. I am not a role model because finding my role has been a lifelong challenge for me. Thankfully, this culture is sapient enough to accommodate misfits like me and glean valuable insights from our unorthodox points of view. My only quality worth emulating is my recently renewed dedication to being earnest and creative. Thankfully, the information stands on its own. Unlike deceit, candor is not a burden.

If we did not have the capacity to live domestically, we would be wild animals. The mind is eminently programmable toward that end. Our nature is to automatically process and assimilate information. The problem of course is in the quality of the information. We are also eminently susceptible to being misinformed and disinformed. The momentum of our conditioned state can trap us like robots in limited and arbitrary mind space.

The first time I smoked cannabis was like the transformation from a young biological automaton into a human being. I found that there is much more to the mind and existence than people seem to be aware of. That is an experience that is easy to get hooked on, although fortunately it is not physically addictive or toxic. It is worth noting that some people don't react well to the cognitive dissonance that the sudden loss of assimilated limits can cause. I worked past the discomfort. As a consequence of my pursuit of this state of mind, I met and became friends with a range of people that I would not have had access to otherwise. It is a formidable group as diverse as humankind, of people habitually seeking respite from their conditioned states. Thankfully, this culture is informally sapient enough to recognize the value of cannabis.

For a ritual sacrament o'sapience, I can imagine worse things than a weekly bong hit with friends. Do it and watch your churches be renewed. Jesus turned water into wine when he pulled out the kind bud and everyone ended up with cotton mouth. With the truth I tease the people for whom it is institutionally off-limits. To the God of biological automatons, I am Its nemesis incarnate. Thankfully, I am no longer figuratively crawling on my belly. I am the one who is me.

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